Mooks

2012

2011-12-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

New Year Resolution: Don't fall in love. Hahahaha.

Love is weak

2011-12-23T01:44:00.001-08:00

Love is weak. Whats more is there to say, everyone thinks they're right and no matter what the events stipulate, their minds will go down scratching and screaming trying to justify their means and actions. I gave you my all but you merely took the negative points in our lives and chose to magnify them so you may feel a sense of vindication or absolve. Know this that I have actions to prove my dedication to you but you chose to conveniently ignore it. Why? Give me my fucking closure.

I'll say it again, love is weak, it will turn you into a sapless being, a spineless rut for something or someone that doesn't exist. You think they do, but they'll turn on you the moment you show weakness. Goes to show that only you have yourself to depend on. I will achieve without the backing of a leeching woman, without giving in to the sappy mess of love.

You tore a little lion's heart and now its turned to rock. And I hope it stays that way.

Look at one post before this. I will leave that post up as a reminder, which will serve in unison with this post, how utterly weak I was. Never again.

It doesn't help that I can't find relief from any of my parents seeing as the only thing they've seemed to given me is that money is everything. That money comes BEFORE love. Selflessness is a myth. Girls are just a dime a dozen. Looks pretty true this way. I was born into this world an optimistic soul. I don't need religion to justify my happiness. But looks like the world is intent on beating you down to your knees. Its doing a good job so far.

Looks like its true, you are born into this world alone and you will leave it the same way. Love isn't the reason why people are together. Its fear. Dependence financially on one other to pull through this capital sinkhole.

Life has no damn meaning. You get what you get and never what you deserve. The only thing that has been loyal is my dog but I wouldn't count on it the moment you dangle food in front of it. Just like how these money driven bitches for lack of a better word, go for the dollar or security. Faith is fucking misplaced in this world and mine just got rammed off course off the deep end into the rocks.

I just, I just wanna leave this place.

Failure

2011-11-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I had a big lesson. Thrown back into my place. They say rising from failure is how winners win. I made mistakes today I don't wanna forget. That final meant something to me and if I'm not taking back the prize, at least I wanna take back a lesson.

Nobody else matters, its all you. Never let anyone cloud your judgement.
You're capable, do it. It'll fuck up once but don't give up.
When your team isn't cutting it, don't always run it solo. Get the team to listen, even if it means raising your voice.
You can do it, so do it.
The moments when the pressure is the heaviest, is when its time for you to do something. Fear of failure is worse than not trying at all.
Above all else, never let anything, cloud your heart, cloud your head, cloud your game. Its yours. Fucking take it. Appeasement is fucking overrated.

Chin up.

My love.

2011-09-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

This feeling is so strong, how can it go wrong?

I think about the worst and it feels desolate. But then I remember that things are right in place now. That back home, with my all my trust, you're waiting for me faithfully..

I'm vulnerable too I hope you know.

I may seem perfect but deep inside, the pressure to not disappoint is suffocating. I want to be your man, to hold you when you need someone, to be an ear to all that you keep inside (relevant or otherwise), to be the person you tell your deepest secrets and wishes to and to be the only one you'll ever hold in your eye, despite my flaws and shortcomings. I need to know that if I ever slip up in the run, you'd still be there to sit with me and see me through.

This childhood love, it's pretty darn sweet. They say puppy love never is true, that itll eventually turn blue. But i dont believe that. My heart always beat the strongest for you.

To my Michelle, this feeling is true I tell you. I've never felt about a girl the same way I do with you. You've got me feeling special. I'll never stray no matter what you may say. I can't imagine anyone else being the palm in my hand through the rest of my days.

Then again.. with all that's said, three words will suffice these days. Common as they are, they usually are hollow. So judge this if you need to at the moment I write this, if these words hold any weight, to forever hold a place in your heart because, all that I really need to say, and need YOU to know;

I love you.

Me.

Hello blogger.

2011-08-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

Current circumstances have prompted me to return blogging. I guess it's also a good way to document my life, as well as procrastinate here in the great white north. To whoever stumbles across this humble little page of mine, hello there. :)